The interview below was for a book club. I hope it inspires you to start
writing or continue writing the book that's in you.
1. How long have you been writing?
When and why did it all begin?
It was 1985 when I started writing. My sister, confidant, and friend
had abandoned me for the sun, water and mountains of Jamaica to share a new life with a white man she’d met while vacationing
there months earlier. I missed her. Just as I was about to get married, I now had no one to help me sort through the many
love and life challenges. One day while sitting alone in my studio apartment I picked up a black and write spotted notebook
and began to write. Onto those pages I confessed my fears, longings, hopes and dreams. I got hooked when
I saw how journaling cleared my head and healed my heart. The summer of 1998, on the Sony PC that I’d bought for my
four year old, I started to pen Love Addicted.
2. What inspired your first project?
Love
Addicted vibrated in my soul and wouldn’t loose me until I surrendered to the pen. This was a book that insisted
upon being written. I felt led by Spirit to give voice to my story. A well known radio personality once said nobody wants
to read autobiographical books by non-celebrities. At first that stalled me, then I decided to ignore it. I chose instead
to believe my story was as worthy as any. Too, upon my death I wanted there to be at least one thing that wouldn’t ever
die. Black women and love addiction? Who talks about that? The tendency to seek approval and validation from men, the impulse
to avoid one’s own pain by getting into a relationship, I sensed, wasn’t unique to me. There are hundreds of thousands
of people—women and men—who are love and relationship junkies. Love Addicted is proof that healing
happens.
3. What genre of books do you write?
Are there any other genre’s you may consider?
I love writing non-fiction, inspirational and self-help
books about love and relationships. Although I’ve edited fiction, that genre doesn’t speak to me as a writer.
4. Do you have a particular writing
style?
No, I don’t. I only insist that my writing be honest and clear and meaningful.
I want to touch, move and inspire.
5. Who or what has influenced your
writing?
Author Toni Morrison once said, “Write the book you’d like to read.”
Well, that’s what I set out to do. I did that with Love Addicted and with my next offering, Why Did He
Break Up With Me? I’m driven by that advice.
6. What has been the most rewarding
part of being an author?
One day a young woman walked up to me and said, “Your book changed my life!” Another
woman posted a message on my Facebook wall, it said, “Love Addicted was
instrumental in helping me to change the course of my life! To have given the world something that inspires another soul to
grow and change is gratifying beyond words.
7. What is the most important
lesson you’ve learned in your writing career?
Fortunately, one of the most significant lessons
that I learned before publishing my first book I learned from the missteps of other authors: Always hire an editor because
no matter how much of an eye you have for detail you can never catch all your typos and mistakes. Edit it or regret it.
8. You’re not only
an author but also a speaker and facilitator, what is the most rewarding thing you get from your speaking engagements?
I absolutely love engaging with people, speaking and facilitating affords me that opportunity.
When I speak, I get to share what I’m learning on this amazing journey we call life, connect with women and men committed
to growing and expanding, hear their wisdom and learn from them.
9. What characteristics do you
feel are most important for speakers and facilitators to develop?
Speaking isn’t about impressing
your audience but about connecting with and inspiring them. So a powerful speaker isn’t necessarily she with the fanciest
credentials but she who has a love for people, has a passion for sharing, and is committed to speaking the truth as she knows
it. If a person desires to serve humanity by speaking, there will always be someone who wants to hear her.
10. If you could have one author
as a mentor, who would it be? Why?
Willie Jolley. He earns more than 10K to speak. Whatever
he knows, I want to learn it and fast! Because I love connecting with people, speaking is the perfect vehicle for
that.
11. What is a normal day like
for you? What do you do daily to stay motivated and keep your creativity flowing?
I’m an attorney for a recovery
center; I spend my weekdays assisting men and women recovering from drugs and alcohol in untangling their legal issues, speaking
to probation agents and judges, accompanying them to court and troubleshooting. As one who writes and speaks
about the dynamics of human relationships, every experience and encounter inform my writings. I people watch and engage
in conversations that feed my curiosity about love and relationships. Daily I learn something that helps me better understand
what builds strong, elastic relationships and what drains and tears them down. What pearls I glean I share with my audiences,
in my talks and books and blog. Early mornings, evenings and weekends you’ll find me working out, speaking, signing,
writing, spending time with my teen daughter Adia and networking.
12. What book is currently on your
night stand?
Hill Harpers’s The Conversation, The Writer on Her Work, edited by Janet Sternburg
and Street Shadows by Jerald Walker
13. If you had to suggest one book
that you have read in your life that was a vital tool, what would it be?
For those looking to self publish,
Dan Poynter’s Self Publishing Manual is a must have. Brenda Ueland’s If You Want
to Write helps writers find their authentic voice and The African American Guide to Writing by Jewell Parker
Rhodes is an excellent resource for non-fiction, autobiographers, and memoir writers.
14. What is currently heavy in rotation
in your ipod/mp3 player/CD player?
Accompanying me on the treadmill is any music that inspires
me move for 30-60 minutes—the Black Eyed Peas, will.i.am., Michael Jackson and Beyonce do it for me.
15. If your life had a theme song
what would it be?
Mary J. Blige’s Work That when haters try my nerves. Jill Scott’s Golden
and will.i.am It’s a New Day.
16. What words of wisdom would you
give to an aspiring author? Speaker/facilitator?
Read, read, and read some more. Readers make better writers.
Keep a journal. Journaling sharpens your writing skills. Write and speak about what matters to you. Don’t
imitate others. Do you! Your uniqueness is a gift to the world. Remember that courage is not the absence of fear but action
in the face of it. Do the thing that scares you. Cease to wait for someone else to give you the green lights, give them to
yourself. Go!
