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Why Did He Break Up With Me?

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I DATED THIS GUY who I seriously thought was "The One." Even with our many challenges, like his tendency to swing not from the ceiling but from mood to mood, my always needing to have the last word, his king baby syndrome because his mother died of alcoholism when he was 9  (other times he was 8, depending on how much sympathy he was trying to curry) and he'd yet to stop crying and whining about it. Still, I really wanted to make things work with Major. I figured (and I hate this word but it seems to fit here), what the heck, every man has his issues and shortcoming. At least, I thought, I can have clever conversations about spirituality, business, and life with this man. He was so sweet, in many ways. Really. One day, during one of our intense let's-stay-together conversations, Major held my face in his big hand ever so gently, looked me tenderly in my eyes and said in his beautiful manly voice, "We're going to grow up together." Awwww, my heart said. He had me on "we." Then one Sunday, after the weekend of his life (he'd said I wasn't generous enough in bed and I was determined to correct that), he dumped me. Actually, it started on Sunday and culminated about mid-week. I was devastated. I bawled like a baby. I'd also decided to stop acting like I don't care, when I really did. So, I bawled some, over the phone, and asked Major to think about what he was doing. I guess he thought about it and decided that I was not the one for him. (in the book I'll give you the skinny on why I believe he really booked) Anyway, I'm better now, and pretty glad Major left me, since I would have left him soon enough.Talk about a pack rat! It's kinda hard to spend the rest of your life with someone you can't live with. Anyway, what about you?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DUMPED and all you were left with were lingering questions like, "Why did he break up with me? What is wrong with me? What do I do now?" What woman hasn't been there? You go out one, two, three times. You have the time of your life. He lavishes you with attention, compliments and promises he'll call.  He doesn't.  How about this scenario: You're a year into a relationship with what feels like "The One." Then one day he disappears. Poof! He’s gone, without a trace. What about this one: You're happily married, until death do you part, or so he vowed. One night at dinner he says, "I don't love you anymore." You beg, you cry, he leaves anyway. Divorce papers arrive a month later.  How could you help but wonder what went wrong. Why Did He Break Up With Me? will explore why men do what they do, how women can heal after a painful breakup, get the lessons and learn to make wiser choices in men and move forward with a open heart ready to love again. Share your breakup story. How did you meet? How long did it last? How did it end? Have you been able to let go? If so, how did you heal? Are you better or bitter? What life lessons did you learn? What do you know now? What advice do you have for other women? Lastly, how does the relationship you have or didn't have with your father affect your intimate relationships with men? 
Or perhaps you've never been left...because you are always the "leaver." That once was me, pre-Major. I'd leave a man because I had abandonment issues. Wrote about that in Love Addicted. I left a guy because he wouldn't talk. He relocated to the west coast; I stayed here on the east coast. He was financially savvy and generous. He worked out and ate sushi. When he was close, we'd hang out in some of the best sushi bars. He even had a smart person's career, engineering. But he was mentally vapid. Phone conversations were a killer. I sent him a Dear John email, wishing him well. I was done. For me, stimulating  conversation is right up there with ample foreplay, neither of them are negotiable.  What about you? Why do you usually leave a relationship? Do you wrestle with abandonment issues? Does intimacy scare you? Share your story.

Lastly, but not least, how did you heal from a breakup? What did you do? What spiritual tools did you employ? Share your story.

Writer's Guidelines for Why Did He Break Up With Me? 
  • Write from your heart, in your authentic voice. 
  • You need not be a writer  to contribute; your story will edited for clarity and length. 
  • Length should be from 500-1,500 words. 
  • Change names to protect the privacy of others (and you, if you'd like), as needed.